


Let me go, whatever it takes

by Anonymous



Category: Black Panther (2018), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Doomed Relationship, F/M, First Kiss, Heavy Angst, Last Kiss, Love Confessions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:28:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22476388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: In order to take the stone, you must lose that which you love.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Shuri, James "Bucky" Barnes/Shuri
Comments: 5
Kudos: 30
Collections: Anonymous





	Let me go, whatever it takes

Rugged mountains and cliffs made up most of the barren planet. Despite wearing her vibranium suit, Shuri still scrubbed her hands together for warmth, seated on a snow-capped crag.

Nothing about this land obeyed common scientific laws. The clear sky’s purple and pink undertones were a smokescreen and every moment there felt like a second and a lifetime all at once.

It was enough to make anyone feel uneasy. Shuri knew she shouldn’t have been this surprised since she had gone on the Ancestral plane herself and had regularly sent e-mails to a talking raccoon for the past few years.

Hours ago, in the safety of their spaceship, she was quipping with Bucky about heading to the future.  
  
Now, her stomach was turning to knots under the weight of their mission.   
  
A soul for a soul. _Whatever it takes_.  
  
Bucky stood still at her sides, fists resting on his hips and mouth twisted in a frown as he stared ahead, gaze roaming over rocky scrags before settling on the edge of the cliff. Shuri thought he was pondering over the Guardian's words as much as she was.  
  
_In order to take the stone, you must lose that which you love._  
  
"It always comes down to sacrifice", he said, breaking through the silence.  
  
“It doesn’t have to”, Shuri replied immediately. No. They shouldn’t have to trade their lives for this. She had to make sure they both make it out of this alive.  
  
“Shuri”, he sighed, “You can’t keep ignoring the truth.”  
  
She gulped down and blew on her fingers. This was no use. The cold seeping in her bones didn’t come from the snow soaring around them. She felt cold because she had not been this _terrified_ for a long time.   
  
Bucky drew close and squatted down in front of her then.

Whenever he was troubled, his features looked as if they were cut out with a billhook. He took her hands in his and started rubbing.  
  
“I’ll find a way, Ingcuka. I only need more time. There has to be a solution to this. Why would the team send us there otherwise ?”  
  
He shook his head and the look he gave her was so full of sweetness and sorrow she felt her heart thud.  
  
“ _No_...”, she whispered.  
  
Bucky intertwined their fingers and looked down. The contrast of their suits mirrored that of their flesh. He squeezed her hand before meeting her gaze again.  
  
“It has to be me.”  
  
She shook her head no and grabbed the back of his neck on pure instinct.  
  
“No it doesn’t. What if we jumped together ? Two souls for one rock must rescind everything.”  
  
Bucky gave a mirthless laugh that grated her nerves.  
  
“Sounds just like you to try and gamble with Death herself, doll. But we have no guarantee this would work. What if we both die in that scenario ? What if the soul stone turns to dust because we can’t be bothered to follow the rules ? I can’t take that risk. Your people need you. _The world needs you_.”  
  
“ _And I need you, Bucky_. So where does that leave us huh ?!”  
  
His hands rose to cradle her face and she nearly thought he was finally going for a kiss. They’ve been circling each other for years and yet, they only had almosts.

The pain of loss mixed with specks of precious memories. Regrets. Was it all that could be left of their relationship ? 

Shuri found the idea intolerable. 

Calloused thumbs came to trace the sharp cut of her cheekbones then down to the curve of her lips, then up to the slight upward tilt of her nose. Bucky was memorizing her features and her breath hitched loud at the realization.  
  
“It has to be me, my Queen”, he said reverently, going down on his knee before standing to his full weight. He stretched his hand for Shuri to take then and she watched him with shimmering eyes.  
  
“You knew”, she croaked, her quivering voice accused, betraying her frayed nerves. "The reason why Thanos came here with his daughter and left without her ? You all knew. All of you..."  
  
Bucky had the honesty to stare right in her eyes and nod slowly. Of course he fucking did. So this was why he insisted on them pairing up for this mission. He knew it would come down to this. And his admission only unleashed her anger and frustration further.  
  
“ **Why** ”, she nearly howled. “I would have never come if I knew ! How can you possibly think-”  
  
“Because there's no one else in this team I love more than you, Shuri. That's why. It's just us. The others barely know each other. They've already _lost_ their everything. We're their last chance.”  
  
She gave a quiet gasp and stared at him like he’s just lost the last shreds of his sanity, chest heaving and fists clenched tight.  
  
“You don’t get to do that, you bastard ! _Not now_ ", she growled.

"I'm not asking for your permission", he bit back, daring to turn his back on her.   
  
By then, her body was tingling, a coarse mix of fury and resentment travelling through her veins.

So she took him by surprise, using her supple leg like a compass to make him lose his balance before angling her feet again, bending just so to try and strike his temple. He dodged her punch like the supersoldier he was. She jabbed him with increased speed and strength before suddenly pulling away, her eyes staring at the edge of the cliff. Her body coiled and sprung with another wide swing at his face before she raced there. Bucky howled and ran after her, tackling her to the ground.  
  
He straddled her lithe body, saw her eyes twitch when cold metal winded around her slender neck. Shuri thrashed without finesse, cursing him when her efforts barely had him move an inch.  
  
“Don’t force me to knock you out, sugar.”  
  
“You wouldn’t dare”, she huffed.  
  
Bucky hummed and tilted his head to the side, thumb coming up to soothe the scratch she had just gotten on her cheek. Shuri exploited that half-second to slide her fingers on her Kimoyos and blind him with bright neon rays. He grunted loud and she gathered her knees to push him off and reverse their positions.  
  
Shuri grabbed his throat and unleashed her panther claws then, thighs tightening around his torso, eyes focused to his face as his chest rose and fell to the rhythm of his rapid breaths.  
  
“I spent literal years patching you up so you get a shot at happiness and now, you wanna off yourself ?"

" _Your life is precious to me_ ", he gritted through his teeth, wheezing with the tight hold she had on his neck. Her lips quivered at his words.

"If your life is your currency of choice in exchange for mine then I don't fucking want it !" 

He narrowed his eyes before looking away. Then, his arm curled about her waist and instead of pushing him, she blinked stupidly, her jaw slacking when he leaned in and dared to brush his lips against hers.

“Bucky...”  
  
He only gave her a sad smile when he pulled away, mentally activating the invisibility cloak function of his suit, white and silver fading to oblivion under her disbelieving eyes.  
  
" _I love you",_ he whispered as if he confessed a sin.

*

*

*

*

*  
Shuri felt a blunt force pushing her entire body backwards, heart drumming against her ribcage as her back collided against a steep wall under the blow. Bast, no. She cursed her inner self for ever updating his suit and scrambled to her sides, hands pushing the ground to hoist herself up and look at the abyss.  
  
Please, no. Please. She can’t let go. Not yet. She can’t.  
  
With no dignity left, she winced and crawled to the edge, eyes blurred from unshed tears, breath turning less and less regular as minutes went by. She bit back a sob then, body curling into an almost fetal position. And then, she felt a gust of wind behind her. Two knotted arms manifested around her waist and she brought both hands to her mouth while Bucky peppered a trail of kisses where her flesh met the collar of her suit.  
  
“I don’t wanna let go”, she nearly wailed, tilting her head back to get a clear picture of his face. His breath was just as shallow as hers and his eyes were glossy and rimmed with red. He nuzzled her nose with hers, breathed into her mouth before his vibranium fingers trailed along her jaw and pushed to capture her lips. A strangled moan tore out of her chest when his tongue swept inside, tentative licks soon turning into a searing kiss, making her legs more wobbly than they already were. 

She wanted to save every mental snapshot of him she could get and at first, she fought to keep her eyes open. Eventually, her lashes fluttered as desire assailed her last weapons.

Shuri yielded.

She _kissed_ him. Kissed and kissed and kissed until she felt short of breath, reluctantly pulling away from his supple lips.  
  
“You can let go, sweet baby. I love you. _Let me go, It's okay_ ", he rasped.  
  
She feebly shook her head before opening her eyes.  
  
“I love you”, she whispered, hating herself for her own weakness.

She pressed herself against him to register his scent and the warmth of his skin. Committing his essence into memory. It’s in the little things. From the dimple she loves so much on his chin, the sparse, almost unnoticeable lines at the corner of his eyes, steel, storm and winter blue clashing there. 

Shuri wanted to burrow into him, and fuse their bones so they never had to let go.  
  
Bucky hoisted her up, leaned in to pull their foreheads against each other so they breathed in their love, eyes closed to soak in the moment and gather enough courage. Shuri knew it was more for her than for him. At this point, Bucky was breathing life back into her.

He was the first to take a step backwards and inhale a sharp breath to ground himself.

“Just so you know, this ain't some kind of assisted suicide on my end. Nor a desperate attempt at redemption because of my past. Because you gave me enough courage to embrace life years ago. I just...I just wanna help shape the future in a good way for once. It’s just a shame there is no alternative other than _this_.”  
  
He sighed and hung his head low, no doubt to reign on his emotions. The sight achieved to break her heart and she subconsciously brought her hands to hug herself, looking away.   
  
“Thank you for everything, Shuri", he said, his voice strong and steady.

She felt his hand on her trembling chin. 

" _Your life is precious to me_ ", she croaked as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I know, love. You have to keep yourself safe and grow old and happy for me then.” 

_Bast_. He had no right to ask that of her with what he was about to do but she still nodded through her tears, not daring to open her mouth.

"Promise me..."

"Buck..."

"I know you'll be okay. But I just wanna be sure. I'll rest better knowing you bring some other hard-headed wakandan babies into this world."

Shuri gave a strangled chuckle in spite of herself. She knew damn well what he was doing. Trying to make it easy for her to lose him. But it was still cruel of Bucky to suggest that when the only man she had ever dreamed of a future with was _him_.

Ignoring the feeling of being split in half, she tried for a last quip herself.

"We lost half the world's population, White Wolf. Pretty sure I can contribute to some more war effort."

"That's my girl", he murmured.

She saw a floating form in her peripheral vision then. Dark robes framing a red skull. Shuddered and bit her lips to keep for screaming when they gestured at Bucky to walk forward.

Down to the abyss.

"We're out of time..."

The words slipped past him before he nodded at the creature. Then he bowed his neck to her one last time.

Shuri froze, her limbs weighing like marble while the love of her life walked towards his fate, her eyes glued to his broad shoulders and the quiet confidence in his steps.  
  
He didn't look like a man on death row. He was a soldier on a mission.  
  
And later, when Shuri lost consciousness only to wake up alone in an infinite sea of stars, shuddering hand stretching open to reveal a sanguine, vermilion gem, she was the one who marked the day.

The day where she died inside.  



End file.
